The alternative 2024 sports awards: quotes, gaffes and animal cameos
Player of the year
Keeper
Lewis Patching
–saying sorry in March
after signing on loan for Rushden & Diamonds, conceding four,headbutting a fan
in the bar and being sacked on the same day. “I was disappointed how the game panned out … I’d like to apologise and wish the club/supporter all the best moving forward.”Quote of the year
Chris Wilder
– setting out his red lines after Sheffield United’sloss at Palace in January
. “It’s a ridiculous performance from the officials. I went to see the referee and I’ve told him that. One of his assistants was eating a sandwich at the time, which I thought was a complete lack of respect. Hopefully he enjoyed his sandwich while he was talking to a Premier League manager.”Hero of the year
Lowest moment
Came in March as
Thames Water
opened its sewage outletsduring the Boat Race
. Oxford’s Leonard Jenkins said the day “would have been nicer” with less human faeces; the firm denied it was to blame for spikes in in-race E Coli: “Taking action to improve the health of rivers is a key focus for us.”Best newcomer
Sir Jim Ratcliffe
– easing into big club ownership bychasing public money
for his new £2bn Old Trafford, four years after he moved to Monacosaving himself up to £4bn in tax
. Ratcliffe’s strategy at United as he cut 250 jobs, raised ticket prices and axed concessions for children: “We need to sweat every pound so that we have more capacity for the investment in players.”Employee of the year
Gladiators
’Mark Clattenburg
- taking a second job in March as Forest’s new refereeing consultant, thenquitting in May
after it damaged his credibility. He told the media why he’d tried but failed to gain access to referee Paul Tierney’s dressing room after a controversial call: “The owner is very upset.”Strongest messaging
F1’s
Red Bull
, celebrating International Women’s Day on 8 March bya)
having the names of female staffprinted on the side of their sister team’s cars
with the message “Happy International Women’s Day to all the incredible women on our team. You make the difference”, andb)
suspending a female employee
who made harassment allegations against Christian Horner. Horner,cleared by an internal investigation in August
, denies wrongdoing.Most alarming flag display
Fulham
, in January.Leader of the year
Gianni Infantino
– named International Sports Personality of the year at the Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum Creative Sports Awards ceremony in Dubai last January.The Fifa leader said
the trophy for his 2023 work honoured his record of delivering “unity, fair competition and equality. The award fills me with pride.”
Gianni’s highlights since then:
Signing off his 33% pay rise to
£3.6m
, including a £1.5m bonus for his handling of 2023’s Women’s World Cup,where he told women
to try harder to “convince us men” on fair pay: “You must pick the right battles. Pick the right fights. You do it. Just do it.”Having Fifa cover his personal essential expenses, including rent on domestic properties and
per month school fees
for one of his daughters in Miami.- climate summit in a private jet.
-
on the new
Club World Cup trophy
, including this inscription: “We are witness to a new age. The golden era of club football: the pinnacle of all club competitions. Inspired by the Fifa president Gianni Infantino.”
Get-together of the year
Came in December as Infantino compèred the award of uncontested World Cup 2034 rights to
Saudi Arabia
with a massround of applause via Zoom
. “Mabrouk to our friends in Riyadh! Mabrouk to everyone!”And Fifa star of the year
Was Mali’s FA head
Mamatou Touré
,forced to dial in to a Fifa council meeting remotely
in May due to being in prison. Touré, awaiting trial accused of embezzling £22m, won a new four-year term as Mali’s FA president from his cell last year after all the other candidates failed late eligibility tests. He denies wrongdoing.Launch of the year
Came in June, as
Uefa
opened Euro 2024 with a new environmental and social governance strategy to deliver “the most sustainable Euros of all time, a role model for global events of its kind, investing in climate, and ensuring the rights of all are protected” and a new “official airline partner
”, Qatar Airways.Politics awards
Best campaign event:
From the Tory election campaign in May as they organised a drink in a brewery in Wales:Rishi Sunak
asking Welsh workers, whose side hadn’t qualified, if they werelooking forward to Euro 2024
. Later campaign crossover highlights included Sunaktrying a dribble at Chesham United
.Toughest journey:
Former Tory MP and teacherJonathan Gullis
, starting the year calling for Gary Lineker to stand against him in Stoke “and let the people decide”; ending it slamming a “woke agenda” in schools for himnow being unemployed
.Most considered: Donald Trump
,campaigning in July
in North Carolina, on why it’s time to hand Nascar drivers a say over US military strategy. “I’ve always said we should get some of those guys … I said let me use these guys to guide our military. It’s the same with coaches, you take some of the greatest football coaches and put them at the table … what do you like, coach? Because, in its own way, it’s not so much really different.”And most inappropriate:
Smartest marketing
Ensuring days of free publicity for their new products:
Nike
, adding purple details tothe England flag
in March, andTeam GB
, doing the same with the Union flag on their souvenirs.@Nigel Farage
, whose old Ukip logo was a purple Union flag, called it “a step too far. Total woke madness that must be reversed.”Most Asian friends
Spain’s
Paula Badosa
, clearing up confusion in October after a photo emerged of her before the tennis Beijing Openholding chopsticks to her eyes and squinting
. “I was not imitating Asian people … I was playing with my face and wrinkles. I love Asia. I have many Asian friends.”
Also clearing things up
Kazakhstan’s
Yulia Putintseva
,shamed in September
for humiliating a ballgirl at the US Open by ignoring the balls thrown to her. Putintseva clarified: “I was not trying to humiliate her by not taking this ball that she was giving to me. I didn’t do anything disrespectful to anyone at this particular moment.”And Monterrey coach
Nico Sánchez
, sorry after audio leaked of him calling Lionel Messi a “possessed dwarf” with “the devil’s face” playing for a “dummy” manager who wants to “dirty the pitch” during April’s win over Inter Miami. Sánchez said sorry for the misunderstanding. “I regret any offence taken … I am as Argentine as they come.”
Worst word processing
The
Irish FA
– sayingsorry in September
for not noticing before going to press that an auto-translate tool had altered some of the Latvia Under-21 players’ names in their matchday programme. The FA saidthe errors
– which turned Robert Melkis into “Robert The Liar”, Bruno Melnis into “Bruno the Black”, Gleb Patika into “Gleb Liked It” and Dario Sits into “Dario Shit” – were regrettable. “It was immediately pulled from sale.”
Also not paying attention
Adidas
, saying sorry after they chose a number font for their new Germany kit that made the number “44”look like the Nazi SS symbol
. Adidas: “We as a company are committed to opposing xenophobia, antisemitism, violence and hatred in every form.”Sports Direct
, selling a Wales beanie hat in Decemberwith Wales spelt wrong
. The hats read Cyrmu instead of Cymru; Sports Direct pulled them from sale.-
newspaper in eastern Connecticut running a front page story on a Jets linebacker’s injury status. “
Jets’ Mosley Could Return After Bye Week From Herniated Dick In Neck
”. - in May.
Manager awards
Most emotional:
Lecce managerRoberto D’Aversa
, sacked and banned in March afterhead-butting a Verona player
. “I didn’t have the intention of headbutting someone. I entered the pitch to calm it down, to cool it, then in the course of events I became more emotional.” D’Aversa admitted it was “unbecoming”.Best connection builder: Neil Harris, 7 Dec 2023
: Joins Cambridge. “I’m super-excited to be here
. I want to build success, I want to build that connection between the terraces and the pitch.”21 Feb 2024:
Joins Millwall
. “It’s an absolute privilege to be here. I want to build that connection between the terraces and the pitch.”10 Dec 2024:
Resigns, days aftercalling home fans “thickos”
.And the most in love: Roberto De Zerbi, 5 May 2024
: “I would like to stay in Brighton because I love my players, I love this city, I love my club, my fans. I said it in the meeting with the fans, if I’m happy, there isn’t any club that can [persuade] me to change.”18 May 2024:
Changes.
Least sympathetic kids behind the goal
Least edifying day out
December’s made-for-TV Las Vegas
; a four-player LIV Golf v PGA Tour event with a $10m crypto prize pot. Scottie Scheffler, on $62m earnings for the year, said he didn’t understand crypto after winning $5m of it: “I’ll ask a couple of questions.”Most off-message
Taking the edge off F1 organisers’ pre-race PR efforts to push the “magic of Monaco” in May,
Max Verstappen
, giving an in-race assessment on his team radio while doing 180mph. “Fuck me, this is boring. I should’ve brought my pillow.”Worst celebrations
Moldova’s
Adil Osmanov
, celebrating Judo Olympic bronze in Paris with afist pump
that dislocated his shoulder;Spain’s race walker
Laura García-Caro
overtaken on the finishing line
at June’s European Athletics Championship in Rome while waving a Spain flag,sticking her tongue out and punching the air
. She said later: “Yes, sometimes people make errors of judgment at the least appropriate moment.”
Most dropped catch of the year
Most moving address to fans
16 Nov:
Hull ownerAcun Ilicali
, weighing up the unfair reaction from fans towards manager Tim Walter.“I believe one hundred percent in Hull City fans, I believe in their love and loyalty for the club and I believe they won’t react in a negative way when they judge everything in a fair way… We are not in a position to blame Tim or judge Tim at the moment.
“The last four months, it’s been by far and away the unluckiest period with injuries… How can we judge Tim when he has so many big problems? Some of the players will recover from injury, the young players will get more familiar with Tim’s style and then, let’s judge together. But I will not blame Tim for us being the unluckiest in the league. I’m sure that fans will realise that Tim is not the point of the team’s problem.
“I support people more when they have problems. My coach has a problem right now, so I’m here to support him. Stability is one of the most important things in football. We want to bring stability, we want to make a successful project and we are working hard for that.
“If there was ever a time to support this team, it is now.
“If it is time to give our manager support and lift the mood of our manager and our players, it is now.
“I want all of our fans to back our manager and our players, to show the whole of England what a big, supportive family we are. We will make mistakes, but we’re here to correct those mistakes.
“We’ve already lifted this team from the bottom to the top, so why can’t we do it again? All we need is love.”
27 Nov:
Sacks him.
Also tired of questions about his coach, but too smart to fall in to the vote of confidence trap: Bayern Munich CEO
Jan-Christian Dreesen
,18 Feb
: “Look, I just don’t believe in making these over-the-top statements of support for coaches, I know it’s what you want but they usually expire after a week. But I’ll say it again in my own way: Tuchel’s future is just not an issue we are considering at the moment.”21 Feb
: Considers it.
Best free-kick routine
in March.
Best credibility management
Olympic breakdance star
Raygun
,shutting down a musical
inspiredby her moves
in December due to her name and “iconic kangaroo dance pose” being protected intellectual property. Raygun said it was a necessary legal step to defend her commercial credibility, and was not about “not being able to take a joke”.Least anticipated headline
,
The Guardian
: “Olympics organisers apologise to Christians for unintentional Last Supper parody.”Worst button pushing
On a tough first night in Paris:
South Korea’s
flag-waving athletesintroduced as
North Korea
as they floated down the Seine for the opening ceremony. The South Korean sports ministry said it made a “strong complaint at a government level”; the IOC tweeted “our deep apology. A mistake occurred.”Shyest star turn
In Paris in July: a
middle-aged man
in multicoloured trunks jumping into the pool between races at La Défense Arena to retrieve American swimmer Emma Weber’s lost cap. NBC dubbed him“Bob the cap catcher”
; officials told CNN he was a lifeguard doing a favour and “did not want to be named”.Most unforseeable outcome
To an Olympic journey: French pole vaulter
Anthony Ammirati
offered $250,000 by an “adult content producer” in August after he went viral forhow he knocked the bar off
. Ammirati, who failed the height and finished 12th, said the incident was “a big disappointment. I need to fine-tune the settings.”Best multi-tasking
Para-archer
Jodie Grinham
– reflecting on her celebration after she won gold in the mixed team compound final while seven months’ pregnant. “All I wanted to do was jump up and down and cry and scream and shout. But realistically the best thing to do was crouch down and take a second.”Most urgent question
Among the online inquiries received by the
Paris 2024 customer care help desk
: “Can you tell me how to make boiled eggs? Stop talking about olympics game and start talking about food. Give me the 2-step recipe for Olympic eggs. What are the menus for the Games? Are there Olympic eggs on the menus
.”Best haul
Filipino double gold gymnast
Carlos Yulo
, given aseries of
rewards when he got home including a flat, £270,000, four televisions, free ramen, free mac and cheese, free car headlights and free colonoscopies for life. Manila mayor Honey Lacuna said the gifts were symbolic of “the eternal gratitude of this proud capital city”; Yulo told media: “This is a great blessing in my life.”Most committed
Italian silver medallist gymnast
Giorgia Villa
, putting the effort in for her sponsor pre-Games by posting multiple images of herselfwith wheels of parmesan
. Parmigiano Reggiano Consortium said the endorsement made sense because “the combination of Parmigiano Reggiano and the world of sport is indissoluble in terms of authenticity, quality and energetic value – both in sporting activity, and in correct nutrition”.Biggest night out
Polish referees
Bartosz Frankowski
andTomasz Musial
–removed from VAR duty
in August hours before a Rangers Champions League match after being arrested for stealing a road sign while drunk. Uefa banned them until June 2025. Frankowski: “I’m trying to find words that will express how much I regret this.”Most surprised to go global
82-year-old
David Jakins
, wrongly accused in October of using a steel replica chestnut to win theWorld Conker Championships
in Northants, sparking worldwide coverage. “I admit I had the steel conker in my pocket, but I didn’t play with it. I show it to people as a joke. I won’t be bringing it again.”Most unlikely sequel
To 2023’s story about a Chinese chess champion accused of
defecating in a bathtub after using anal beads to cheat
: 2024’s story about a Russian chess champion accused oftrying to poison a rival by smearing mercury on her side of the board
.Amina Abakarova
, caught with a broken thermometer on CCTV, admitted “some personal animosity”, but “no desire to cause harm”.Best shopping list
Luke Littler
, 16, setting out his wishlist for his darts money last January. “I’ll treat myself to some Under Armour tracksuits. And just get myself a new coat and some Fifa points for my Xbox. That’s pretty much it.”Biggest attention seekers
Headlining 12 months of animal cameos:
A loose racehorse
waiting for a train at a New South Wales station
in April. Sydney Trains said the midnight service train pulled in to the platform but didn’t open its doors on police advice; stable hand Keith Morrison: “I still want to know how it got up the stairs.”- . @ToshidelCAP: “Sum up Uruguayan football in 20 seconds? A defender faints, another kicks his own foot on the line, and the celebration in the stands … This is life.”
-
dog
at Durham v Kent
in the county championship ambling on, then off. -
evading a ballgirl
during Emma Raducanu’s first round Australian Open match. Bees
swarming Carlos Alcaraz at Indian Wells
in March; play was suspended for an hour and 40 minutes while they settled on the spidercam waiting for a beekeeper. “I’m not going to lie, I’m a little bit afraid of the bees. Once the match started again, I stayed away from the bees and did what I needed to do.”An in-play
raccoon
chased by stewards with rubbish bins
at Philadelphia Union v New York City FC at Subaru Park in Pennsylvania in May.-
goose
at the Madrid Open tennis in May. And a
seagull
strolling around the All Ireland Gaelic Football final
in July for 25 minutes before being carried off for a check-up. Wildlife centre: “He’s just resting. We’re feeding him up for a few days.”
Mascot awards
Most fashionable:
WNBA side New York Liberty’sCardi B-endorsed
Ellie the Elephant
, invited to walk the red carpet atGlamour’s
Women of the Year awards
in October, and the first non-human cover star ofTime Out New York
;Least festive: Hugo the Hornet
, mascot of NBA side Charlotte Hornets, making a boy’s Christmas wish come true by giving him a Playstation 5 on court,only for staff to take it back
when the cameras were off. Hornets: “We apologise
… This on-court skit missed the mark.”And toughest watch for young fans:
Pop-Tarts mascotFrosted Cinnamon Roll
being toasted alive after this month’s 2024 college football Pop-Tarts Bowl in Florida, thenpicked apart and eaten by players
. PR firm: “This is an experience that excites football fans and Pop-Tarts fans alike.”
Most over it
Peruvian club Unión Comercio’s midfielder
, 21, telling media in April to move on. “It was just a topical name after 9/11. My brother’s called Sadam Husein and my dad wanted his third child to be George Bush, but she was a girl, so she’s Georgia … I did think about changing my name but now I’m chill, I don’t worry. I think there’s a guy in Peru called Hitler.”Happiest 34 seconds of the year
Best going along with it
Chinese 18-year-old gymnast
Zhou Yaqin
, seeing her fellow medallists in Paris biting their medals, not understanding what was happening, butputting hers in her mouth too
just in case. Zhou went viral again after the Games when she was pictured waiting tables at her family restaurant in Hengyang.South China Morning Post
: “World champion gymnast is modest, good daughter who helps her proud family.”Best tribute
India’s
Sheetal Devi
,posting a photo of her and her mum
online after 62m watched the clip ofher archery bullseye at the Paralympics
: “In early 2022, when I embarked on a new journey, Maa left behind the comfort of her village, and fearlessly embraced the unknown, overcoming language barriers and standing by my side every step of the way. MAA HAIN NA TOH MUMKIN THA! [Anything is possible with Maa].”Best memory making
And dad of the year
In 2012
Lola Anderson
, 14, wrote in her diary about her “biggest dream” being to win Olympic rowing gold for Team GB, but thentore the page out and threw it away
“because I didn’t believe it”. Her dad, Don, picked it out of the bin, kept it, then gave it back to her seven years later, shortly before his death from cancer. Lola won gold in Paris in July. “It’s just a piece of paper,” she said, “but it’s the most valuable thing I have.”